Yearly Archives: 2021

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Totally Bulls*it News

3 Ways to Melt Thousands of Snowflakes at Once

Looking to melt thousands of snowflakes at one time? Trying to...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Assures MAGA Nation He’s Not Yet Tired of Winning at Losing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An angry, ranting, outgoing, one-term, permanently impeached, lame...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Georgia Runoff Defeats Break Ancient Spell and McConnell’s Dick Turns Back Into Lump of Coal

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It happened with a sort of "cracking" sound,...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Mike Pence Will Certify Biden’s Win, But Not Take Trump’s Dong Out of His Mouth First

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This might the toughest spot Mike Pence has...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Biden Says He’ll Nominate Abrams for “Secretary of Whatever the Fuck She Wants”

In just 14 days, Joe Biden will become the 46th President...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Mexico Issues $0.00 Check For Final Wall Payment

This story was first published on Alternatively Facts, and is reprinted below...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Cruz Will Insist That Congress Certify He Has an Ugly Wife and No Balls

This story first appeared on The Pastiche Post and is reprinted with permission. Before...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Mexico Offers to Pay for Trump’s Moving Vans

THIS STORY WAS REPUBLISHED WITH DIRECT PERMISSION FROM SISTER PUBLICATION THE...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Biden Cancels White House’s Adderall Subscription from Amazon Prime

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though he doesn't officially take over as president...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Wants Congress to Declare Him President of the Confederacy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Before becoming the 45th most intelligent President of...
James Schlarmann -
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