Yearly Archives: 2021

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Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Was Disappointed His Vaccine Didn’t Also Cover Windmill Cancer or Bone Spurs

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During his long-winded open mic set at the...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Biden Cancels Traditional White House Flat Earth Day Festivities

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Thursday, April 22nd, 2021 will be the first...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Biden Directs Space Force to Stop Its ‘McDonald’s on the Moon’ Program

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Space Force will no longer be developing a...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Lie-Packed CPAC Speech Changes Nothing and Joe Biden is Still Trump’s President

In hindsight, former President Trump's closest advisers knew this was the...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

5-Year-Old Anti-Vaxxer Pens Heart Warming Memoir

SPRINGFIELD, WASHINGTON -- Paige Johnson is 5 years old, and doctors...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

ISIS Surprised By Popularity of Their Sign-Up Booth at CPAC

"Holy shit! This is absolutely insane! I never would have thought...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Matt Gaetz Tells CPAC He Won’t Let Trump ‘Pull Out Until He Finishes’

A visibly evident and olfactorily confirmed drunk Rep. Matt Gaetz (Q-FL)...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Potato Head Tells Fox News They’ve Always Been Gender Fluid

In an interview on Fox News this morning, Potato Head confirmed...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Pat Robertson Says God Will Send Hurricanes to All 50 States If ‘Gays Keep Getting Married’

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has an ominous warning...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Ted Cruz’s Ugly Wife Confirms Gender Neutral Potato Head and Her Husband Will Still Have Same Size Balls

Heidi Cruz, the ugly as sin wife of Sen. Ted Cruz,...
James Schlarmann -
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