Yearly Archives: 2021

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Totally Bulls*it News

House Republicans Urging States to Rush Kids Back Into Potential School Shootings

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The country cannot afford to keep kids out...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Was Disappointed His Vaccine Didn’t Also Cover Windmill Cancer or Bone Spurs

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During his long-winded open mic set at the...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Biden Cancels Traditional White House Flat Earth Day Festivities

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Thursday, April 22nd, 2021 will be the first...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Biden Directs Space Force to Stop Its ‘McDonald’s on the Moon’ Program

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Space Force will no longer be developing a...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Lie-Packed CPAC Speech Changes Nothing and Joe Biden is Still Trump’s President

In hindsight, former President Trump's closest advisers knew this was the...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

5-Year-Old Anti-Vaxxer Pens Heart Warming Memoir

SPRINGFIELD, WASHINGTON -- Paige Johnson is 5 years old, and doctors...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

ISIS Surprised By Popularity of Their Sign-Up Booth at CPAC

"Holy shit! This is absolutely insane! I never would have thought...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Matt Gaetz Tells CPAC He Won’t Let Trump ‘Pull Out Until He Finishes’

A visibly evident and olfactorily confirmed drunk Rep. Matt Gaetz (Q-FL)...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Potato Head Tells Fox News They’ve Always Been Gender Fluid

In an interview on Fox News this morning, Potato Head confirmed...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Pat Robertson Says God Will Send Hurricanes to All 50 States If ‘Gays Keep Getting Married’

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has an ominous warning...
James Schlarmann -
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