Yearly Archives: 2021

Mostly Bulls*it OpinionsTotally Bulls*it News
Totally Bulls*it News

Dear Liberals: You Will Pry Mr. Potato Head’s Penis From Our Cold, Dead Hands

EDITOR'S NOTE: The following op-ed was submitted to The Pastiche Post by...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

An Excerpt from Trump’s Post-Presidential Diary

"The only real difference is I don’t have my beautiful Twitter account."
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Arizona Republicans File Bill Making it Illegal to Register as a Democrat

"It will definitely be a capital offense, no doubt about it."
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

White Collar Criminal Wants Credit for Vaccine for Disease He Said Would Go Away In Weeks

"...if I wasn’t President, you wouldn’t be getting that beautiful ‘shot’ for 5 years, at best."
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Texas Gov. Signs Bill Requiring Texans to Remove Their Masks and Tongue Kiss a Covid Patient

The law also contains a provision that forces Democrats to get "666" tattoos from unmasked, covid positive tattoo artists.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Pillar of Masculinity and Super Soldier Tucker Carlson Criticizes Female Combat Vets

The world's most alpha of alpha males, Fox News' Tucker Carlson, has some thoughts to share on female combat veterans.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Women in Arkansas Now Have 90 Days to Register Their Reproductive Organs

Due to a new harsh abortion restriction, women in Arkansas have 90 days to register their junk.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Republicans Worry Biden’s $1.9T Rescue Plan Will Cut Childhood Poverty Too Much

""What happens if we run out of people to be poor? Have any of you Woketopian Libtarded Soyboy Beta Cucks thought about that?"
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Experts Say Arkansas Abortion Ban Could Mean State Sees 100,000% Increase in Cousin-Siblings

"A scenario that forces every pregnancy to full-term could cause the incestual American population in the state to absolutely, positively explode."
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Biden’s Name Won’t Be on New Checks Because He Already Knows What It’s Like Signing Checks That Won’t Bounce

"I could see why the previous guy would be tempted to have that feeling for once in his worthless life."
James Schlarmann -
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