Yearly Archives: 2020

Impeachment Trial Day 2 Summary: Lying Sacks of Shit Spend Day Lying to Protect a Lying Sack of Shit

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The second official day of the impeachment trial...

Woman Unpopular Enough to Lose Winnable Election to Literal Garbage Says Sanders is Unpopular

SELF-UNAWARE FOREST, NEW YORK -- Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton...

McConnell Opens Senate Impeachment Trial With Traditional Burning of the Constitution

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, the impeachment trial of President Donald John...

Obama: “Holy Sh*t Michelle! How Did I Miss All Those Guns?!”

SECRET SHARIA BUNKER, SOMEWHERE IN KENYA -- Yesterday, Lord Blacky McVoldemort...

Data Suggests Virginia Rally Largest Gathering of Small Genitals Since Last Trump Family Reunion

Today, thousands of people amassed in Virginia to protest new laws...

McConnell, Graham, Cruz Take Oath to Stop Blowing Trump Long Enough to Hear Impeachment Case Without Bias

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In the U.S. Senate, the official impeachment trial...

Norwegian Woman Would Never Live In ‘Any S_ _thole Countries’ Without Universal Healthcare

The world was shocked by the frank, obtuse, and obscene language...

Dear Grandpa and Mom: When Are You Two Going to Stop Fighting?

The following is an open letter submitted to this publication anonymously....

Trump Invokes “Epstein Loyalty Oath” and Lands Dershowitz for His Impeachment Defense Team

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump added two very high-profile...

Key Figures in Trump Ukraine Scandal Cast in Reboot of Classic American Movie

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- During an investor call this morning, the Executive...