Yearly Archives: 2020

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Totally Bulls*it News

Man Kicking Himself for Missing the Perfect Opportunity to Kill Himself

VALLE DE INÚTIL, CALIFORNIA -- Looking back on it now, Jake...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Administration Tells Americans Coronavirus Would Have Been Stopped By Trump’s Wall

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Donald Trump's presidential administration told reporters today that...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Sotomayor and Ginsburg Suggest Trump Should Recuse Himself From All Cases Involving America

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Throughout his presidency, President Donald Trump has tried...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus: “It’s Cute When Christians Think Bernie’s Too Socialist”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This morning during a heavenly press...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Musk Invests $10 Million in New Water Pipe Company

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Last year, Elon Musk made headlines...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Ghost of FDR Worries Fellow Socialist Sanders May Only Be Elected to Two Terms

The ghost of Franklin D. Roosevelt, former President of the United...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Offers to Run the Real Taj Mahal Into Bankruptcy

INDIA -- President Donald Trump is in India for a couple...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Can a Candidate Win the General Election If They’re Enormously Popular and Keep Winning Primaries?

With less than nine months to go until the general election...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Man’s Dick Suing Him For Power of Attorney

VALLE CHORIZO, CALIFORNIA -- A landmark case is working itself through...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

President Trump Asks All Intelligence Briefings Include Small Words And Big Pictures

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Trump administration has submitted an official request...
James Schlarmann -
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