Yearly Archives: 2020

Jesus Christ: “Dude, What The Fuck’s Up With The MyPillow Guy?”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This week, Jesus Hubert Christ was...

Trump Blames Democrats for Impeaching Him Instead of Coronavirus

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump and his most vocal supporters...

White House to Begin Reporting Coronavirus and Democrat Hoax Deaths Separately

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Trump administration has made the determination that...

CDC Says to Stop Licking Surfaces Clean Like Cats

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Doctors at the Centers for Disease Control are...

Coronavirus Update: Trump Officially Moves Easter to June 5th

WASHINGTON, D.C -- This weekend, President Donald J. Trump extended the...

Treasury Department Announces Senior Jobs Program for Economic Recovery From Coronavirus

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. Treasury Department has started a new...

Republican: Free College Plans Set America on a ‘Dangerous Path’ to Intelligent People

THIRD PINE, OHIO -- Senators Bernie Sanders and Liz Warren both...

Gwyneth Paltrow and David Avocado Wolfe Appointed to Coronavirus Response Team

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though his administration is telling Americans that the...

CDC Suggests Chronic Masturbators Replace Regular Lube With Hand Sanitizer

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Doctors with the Centers for Disease Control issued...

Trump: “Okay You Poor Little Shits, You Get Your Check. Now Go Die for Capitalism.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Microphones caught President Donald J. Trump in a...