Yearly Archives: 2020

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Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Declares Houses That Worship Him “Essential”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, the President of the United States of...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Cornelius Fudge Says Coronavirus Seems Well Contained and Magical Economy Can Re-Open ‘Immediately’

ENGLAND, THE WIZARD WORLD -- Former Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Ford CEO: Trump Wore Angry, Spray-Tanned, Vagina Necked, Racist Orangutan Mask on Factory Floor

YPSILANTI, MICHIGAN -- Jim Hackett, CEO of the Ford Motor Company,...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Ratcliffe Confirmed as Director of National Unintelligence

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Just hours ago, Congressman John Ratcliffe of Texas...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Biden Commits to Unveiling Trump Presidential Portrait in Nearby Landfill

Former Vice President Joe Biden announced today that if he wins...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump On Why He Votes By Mail But Doesn’t Want Anyone Else To: “It’s Good to Be President”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Goodly King Emperor Donald J. Trump casts his...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Eric Trump Says Mail-In Ballots ‘Unfairly Silence’ Women Voters

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Despite the fact that he is...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Threatens To Withhold Funding From Any State That Lets Democrats Vote

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Elections in this country are run and officiated...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Man Is ‘Blown Away’ How Much ‘It Stinks’ That His Girlfriend Can’t Stop Farting During Quarantine

BROWN CLOUD, CALIFORNIA -- He says that there is "absolutely no...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Obama Gives Biden Access Codes for FEMA Camps and Stockpile of Confiscated Guns

SECRET SHARIA DUNGEON, THE LITERAL HELL -- During their weekly ritualistic...
James Schlarmann -
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