Yearly Archives: 2019

Totally Bulls*it News

David Avocado Wolfe Clinging to Life After Accidental Crystal Chakra Overdose

AURA CITY, WOOSCONSIN -- Local authorities and doctors are confirming at...

James Schlarmann - March 10, 2019

Totally Bulls*it News

President Trump Says He Regrets Every Abortion He Paid For, and the Don Jr. He Didn’t

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last weekend, President Donald Trump spoke at CPAC...

James Schlarmann - March 10, 2019

Totally Bulls*it News

One Trump Autographed Bible Already Sold on eBay for $666

CORNPONE, ALABAMA -- A man who was at an evangelical church...

James Schlarmann - March 9, 2019

Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Asked Woman If The Bible He Signed is ‘Any Good or Not’

FT. CONFEDERATE, ALABAMA -- Yesterday, President Donald Trump visited the State...

James Schlarmann - March 9, 2019

Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Demands “Mark Facebook and Jack Tweeter” Stop Censoring Conservatives

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During a meeting with business leaders this week,...

James Schlarmann - March 8, 2019

Totally Bulls*it News

Man Tying Shoes Sends Tomi Lahren Into Rage-Induced Coma

DULLARD, TEXAS -- Representatives for right-wing firebrand conservative commentator Tabasco Lahren...

James Schlarmann - March 8, 2019

Totally Bulls*it News

Adult Film Star Says President Obama Secretly Helped Her Use Exchange To Sign Up For Health Insurance

THE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- An adult film star has revealed that...

James Schlarmann - March 8, 2019

Totally Bulls*it News

Alex Jones’ Material Is Now Only Available in Pamphlets And Dietary Supplements He Hands You As He Checks You Out At WalMart

IDIOTIC FUCKFACE, TEXAS -- Deep in the heart of Texas, right-wing...

James Schlarmann - March 8, 2019

Totally Bulls*it News

President’s Plane Renamed “Air Force Individual-1”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump's aircraft has been officially rechristened. "Because...

James Schlarmann - March 8, 2019

Totally Bulls*it News

Software Company Develops Real-Time App To Alert Viewers When Sarah Huckabee Sanders Is Lying

SWILLYCORN, VALLEY -- A software development company has released a new...

James Schlarmann - March 8, 2019

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