Yearly Archives: 2019

White House Caters Cinco de Mayo Luncheon with Taco Bell

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Trump administration continued its recent trend of...

Woman Tends To Cuss A Lot When You Act Like A G*dda**ed F***ing S**theaded C**k-Faced Tw*t-Waffle

Megan Hofer, 35 years old and from Santa Chingada, California, admits...

Trump Says Space Force Has Begun Work on Converting Moon into Death Star

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Having consolidated his power after the Battle of...

Trump Boasts He Was The Inspiration for the ‘Best’ Star Wars Character

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, throughout the country, fans are celebrating an...

Janitorial Staff Still Cleaning Up Slime Trail Left Behind By AG Barr

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, congressional janitorial staff...

Trump Worried Too Many Solar Panels Means Humans Might ‘Suck Up All the Sunlight’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Presdident Donald Trump today told reporters that "one...

Graham Says Barr Hearing ‘Really Tested’ His Gag Reflex

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, the Senate Judiciary Committee held a...

Senate Janitorial Staff Still Cleaning Up Slime Trail Left Behind By AG Barr

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, congressional janitorial staff...

Measles Drops First New Track In 50 Years: “Call It a Comeback”

PORT NOVAX, OREGON -- Recording artist The Measles announced this week...

Man Goes to Truly Extreme Lengths to Avoid Game of Thrones and Endgame Spoilers

BIG BEAN LAKE, CALIFORNIA -- Heath Smalley is a self-described "hardcore,...