Yearly Archives: 2019

Trump Worried Too Many Solar Panels Means Humans Might ‘Suck Up All the Sunlight’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Presdident Donald Trump today told reporters that "one...

Graham Says Barr Hearing ‘Really Tested’ His Gag Reflex

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, the Senate Judiciary Committee held a...

Senate Janitorial Staff Still Cleaning Up Slime Trail Left Behind By AG Barr

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, congressional janitorial staff...

Measles Drops First New Track In 50 Years: “Call It a Comeback”

PORT NOVAX, OREGON -- Recording artist The Measles announced this week...

Man Goes to Truly Extreme Lengths to Avoid Game of Thrones and Endgame Spoilers

BIG BEAN LAKE, CALIFORNIA -- Heath Smalley is a self-described "hardcore,...

Trump Congratulates White Janitor Who Cleaned Up After NFL Draft

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This weekend, President Trump congratulated Nick Bosa, a...

Confessions of a Liberal Baby Killer

Over the weekend, President Donald Trump held a klan campaign rally...

Trump to Give Robert E. Lee Posthumous Medal of Freedom

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Hours after heaping praise on Confederate General Robert...

North Challenges LaPierre to AR-15 Duel for Control of NRA

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There's a power struggle developing at the National...