Yearly Archives: 2019

Alabama Republicans Hold Citizenship Ceremony for ‘Fetal Americans’

INBRED MOUNTAIN, ALABAMA -- Republicans in Alabama held a special ceremony...

President’s Plane Rechristened “Air Force Individual-1”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump's aircraft has been officially rechristened. "Because...

Trump Economic Adviser: Eliminating Minimum Wage Will Result in 0% Unemployment

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The man who will potentially take over for...

Tennessee State House Passes Law Banning Abortion If Your Mother Was Ever Pregnant

SOEUR PLAISIR VALLEY, TENNESSEE -- Republicans in the Volunteer state have...

Donald Trump Jr. To Undergo Plastic Surgery For Rare Facial Condition

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The president's son will be undergoing...

Trump Appoints David Avocado Wolfe FDA High Wizard Chieftain of Raw Foods and Woo

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though his cabinet has been fully confirmed, President...

President Trump Declares National Emergency When He Runs Out of Chicken Nugget Dipping Sauce

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House are confirming that...