Yearly Archives: 2019

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Totally Bulls*it News

Trump: Only People Who Voted For Him Should Have First Amendment Rights

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 2016, less than a month after being...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

White Guy Annoyed Black Community Won’t Listen To His Advice About Problems He Says They Don’t Have

PAS D'EMPATHIE, CONNECTICUT -- Matthew Palumbozo is 26, white, and extremely...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Porn Site Reveals “Daddy/Daughter” As Most Searched Term In Trump States

If you're a Trump supporter, chances are you like a familiar brand of porn...literally.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

President Trump’s Itinerary Ruined as He Struggles for Hours to Thread a Needle

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Alleged billionaire reality-TV star, failed steak salesman, and...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Says His ‘Guys’ Will Find Ark of The Covenant and Holy Grail Within First 100 Days if Re-Elected

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump has ordered that his...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Misses Blaming Farts on Sarah Huckabee Sanders

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While taking a stroll on the grounds of...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Local Woman Anxious For Hatred Among Fellow Americans To Return To Pre-Trump Levels

LAKE GILMOUR, FLORIDA -- Scholars and historians seem to agree, the...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Promises to Drop Out if Michelle Obama Enters 2020 Race

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump told reporters today that if...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

President Trump Asks All Intelligence Briefings Include Small Words And Big Pictures

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Trump administration has submitted an official request...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

White House Engineers Will Downsize the Trump’s Big Red Button

Sister publication The Pastiche Post has reported this week that a...
James Schlarmann -
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