Yearly Archives: 2019

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Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Says He’ll Build A Wall Around The Country Of ‘Islam’ And Make ISIS Pay For It

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While in line at the deli just down...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Barack Obama Buys and Renames Netflix, Releases List of Its First Three New Shows

KENYA -- Former President Barack Hussein Obama announced today that he...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Dick Cheney Reminds Trump Saudi Arabia Doesn’t Declare War, He Does

MUSTAFAR -- Former President Dick Cheney sent an email to President...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Self-Loathing, Blind, and Deaf Woman Explains Why She’s Still Voting for Donald Trump

GREENBELT, MINNESOTA -- Helen Whipplemyer is still voting for Donald J....
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Donald Trump Stump Speech Breaks Out At Klan Rally

LAKE CHINGANDOS, FLORIDA -- At a recent Klan rally in Florida,...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Offers to Make Palin Secretary of ‘Educationizing’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump announced today that he was...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Starbucks Asks Customers Not To Open Carry Vape Pens in Stores

SEATTLE, WASHINGSTONED -- Coffee retailer Starbucks is joining a growing list...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

DeVos Orders Schools to Run Active Vaper Drills

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- All around the country, schools will begin to...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

NRA Supports Universal Background Checks and Waiting Periods For Vaping Products

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- During a press conference this morning, a spokesterrorist...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Vape Company Giving Guns Away With Their Products to Avoid Regulation

A California company that produces vaporizing products for sale in the...
James Schlarmann -
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