Yearly Archives: 2019

President Calls California ‘Unconstitutional,’ and Revokes Its Statehood

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Trump administration officially filed paperwork to revoke...

Fearing Another Whistleblower, President Bans Tea Kettles From White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the President of the United States...

League of Latinx Voters Puts Out Pamphlet: “5 Reasons To Re-Elect Donald Trump For President”

President of the United States, and Head Stable Genius at MENSA,...

President Declares ‘National McMergency’ Because He Runs Out of Chicken Nugget Dipping Sauce

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House are confirming that...

Spicer Already Booked For Next Season of “Dancing With the Lying Kleptocratic Fascist Lawless Dick Burgers”

HOLLYWOOT, CALIFORNIA -- Former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer has...

Shane Gillis Hired as Trump’s New Speechwriter

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, at a ceremony in the Rose Garden,...

Shane Gillis Apologizes to All The Good Asians He Does Like. Both Of Them.

Alleged comedian Shane Gillis will not be joining the cast of Saturday...

Doctors Unsure Barry Berke’s Foot Can Ever Be Extracted from Lewandowski

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The nation's top doctors aren't sure anything can...

White House Counsel Insists Lewandowski Get to Keep Trump’s Toadstool in His Mouth During Entire Hearing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Former Trump campaign manager and central Mueller Report...