Yearly Archives: 2019

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MAGA News

Jeff Sessions Promises Alabama He’s Still Racist and Mostly Enjoys The Taste of Trump’s Dick

BEDFORD FORREST, ALABAMA -- Former Attorney General and Confederate monument model...
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Totally Bulls*it News

POLL: Literally F_ _king Nobody Wants This Douchebag to Run for President Right Now

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- This week, several outlets reported that...
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Business

Obama Releases List of States That Have Legally Barred Him From Running Charities

SECRET COMMUNIST SHARIA BUNKER, KENYA -- Former President Barack Hussein Obama...
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Arts & Entertainment

Burnett and Trump Teaming Up Again on “The Apprentice: Outhouse”

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- Before he was the most powerful man in...
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Economy

Bill Gates Explains His Anxiety About Rising Tax Rates to Woman Returning His Missing Wallet With $500,000,000 In It

OVER THE RAINBOW, WASHINGTON -- At the time of publication, Bill...
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Economy

Projections Show U.S. Could Fund Medicare For All For 400 Years Charging $1 To Punch Mitch McConnell In the Face

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The idea of "Medicare for All" -- expanding...
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Business

Tennessee Man Suing To Shut Down His Local Taco Bell Because It’s ‘Too Mexican’

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- When right-wing podcaster, YouTube sensation, and...
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Totally Bulls*it News

This Cat ‘Pretty Sure’ He’d Be a Better President Than Donald Trump

NEW CATFORD, NEW YORK -- Mr. Whisker Bottoms is a Feline-American. He...
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Criminal Justice

Did Epstein Run Black Market Pizza Joints Using a Pedophile Ring as Cover to Sell Uranium to Russians to Cover Up Benghazi?

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Undoubtedly, the arrest of billionaire Jeffrey Epstein on...
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MAGA News

President Requires Dirt on Joe Biden Before Pardoning Any Turkeys

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For many years, a time honored tradition of...
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