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Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
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Business

Former Papa John’s CEO Did 40 Days’ Worth of Coke in 30

GRAS RACISTE EN SUEUR RIVER VALLEY, KENTUCKY -- John Schnatter, founder and ousted CEO...
MAGA News

Investigation: Is the President a Complete Moron?

While the attention of most of the media outlets in America over the next...
U.S. Politics

Exclusive Report: Is the President a Complete and Total Moron?

While the attention of most of the media outlets in America over the next...
MAGA News

Idiot Uses Twitter to Whine and Rant Like a Big, Dumb Idiot All Weekend Long

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A big, dumb, stupid idiot took to his Twitter account this...
MAGA News

Exclusive Investigation: Is the President a Complete Moron?

While the attention of most of the media outlets in America over the next...
Conservative Media

Dinesh D’Souza Says Hurricane Barry’s Real Name is Barack

EL LAGO TIOTHOMAS, CALIFORNIA -- As officials work to clean up the mess and...
Conservative Media

Mike Cernovich Thuper Proud Of His Award For Journalithtic Integrity From Breitbart

ORANTH COUNTY, CALIFORNIA -- Right-wing provocateur and alleged journalitht Mike Thernovich wath jutht given...
Business

Company Recalls Tammy Lahren Sex Doll Because Its Mouth Never Stops Moving

"Your doll can only bite so many rednecks' dicks off before you have to do something about it."
MAGA News

Tillerson Declines Trump’s IQ Test, Proposes Third Grade Spelling Bee Instead

President Trump has issued a challenge to his own Secretary of State Rex Tillerson to see whose IQ is bigliest and whose isn't-liest.
MAGA News

Tillerson Corrects the Record: ‘I Called Him an Incompetent, Batshit Crazy, Tiny Handed, Thin Orange Skinned, Miscreant and Moron’

Tensions between President Donald Trump and his Secretary of State Rex Tillerson have reached a new high, and Tillerson wants the truth out there.
MAGA News

President Trump Appoints New National Translator for His Interviews

President Trump, when interviewed, seems to run off into wild, nonsensical tangents quite often. But a new translator might help.
MAGA News

Trump Says His Debate Prep Was Wearing A Tinfoil Hat And Talking To Alex Jones For 40 Minutes

Alex Jones was the key to Trump's debate prep.
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Latest articles

Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)