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Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
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U.S. Politics

John Bolton and Lindsey Graham Hold Hands As They Daydream About Invading Greenland

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Photographers in the nation's capital captured an intimate, and what one...
World News

Greenland Asks Trump How He Can Afford to Buy Them Without a Loan from His Dad or Putin

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, our sister publication Alternative Facts, published a report that President...
MAGA News

Greenland Tells Trump They’re Not Ready to Be Run Into the Ground and Driven Into Bankruptcy Quite Yet

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The President of the United States has received an official communique...

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Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)