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First Amendment

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
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Proposed Amendment Would Replace All Other Amendments With Second Amendment

Weighed down by accusations that the pushback against Black Lives Matter protesters constitutes an...

Trump Signs Executive Order Demanding Facebook and Twitter Make Him Look Attractive and Competent

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump proved his small-government, traditionally conservative values today when...

Trump: Only People Who Voted For Him Should Have First Amendment Rights

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 2016, less than a month after being the conclusion of...

President Explains Why Only People Who Voted For Him Have First Amendment Rights

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Hot on the heels of a series of tweets...

Congresswoman Suggests Trump ‘Go Back to the Overflowing Toilet’ He Came From

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) was stopped on her way to the...

Tomi Lahren Hard at Work on List of Acceptable Ways for Black People to Protest Abuse

LA CULERA RUBIA ARRUGADA, CALIFORNIA -- Right-wing firebrand commentator and Fox News contributor Tammy...

Ted Cruz Defends Klansman’s YouTube Channel: “It Presents the N-Word for Debate in the Marketplace of Ideas”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sen. Ted Cruz is a frequent guest on alleged comedian Steven...

Trump Issues National Emergency and Seizes the Memes of Satire Production

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning President Trump signed an executive order and declared a...

Jim Acosta is Opening a No-Impact Kung Fu Dojo

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Just a couple of days after finding himself at the heart...

While Punching Orphan In The Face And Spitting On Nun’s Tits, Trump Complains of ‘Overly Negative Press’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump is truly and utterly confounded by what he...

Satanic Goat Sacrifice and Skunk Fucking Cult Says Religious Liberty Task Force Allows Them To Discriminate Against Christians

LA ORINA DA SATANÁS, ARIZONA -- Seth Lindstrom, The High Chieftain of The Temple...

Trump Declares Restaurants “No Free Speech Zones”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Americans dining out are no longer permitted to speak or think...

Latest articles

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...

Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More

The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...

The Easter Bunny Plans to Give Plan-B and Contraceptives to Red State Teenagers

"Did you know there have already been thousands of rape pregnancies as a result...