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Criminal Justice
Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?
"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
May 17, 2024
U.S. Politics
A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden
"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
May 15, 2024
Economy
Devin Nunes: ‘Only 10,000 Benghazis’ Not Worth Shutting Down Economy Over COVID-19
DIPSHIT, CALIFORNIA -- On September 11th, 2012, a terrorist attack was carried out on...
April 21, 2020
Business
Trump Boys Mortuaries Opens Across America’s Heartland
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Never shy about a business venture opportunity, the presidents'...
April 21, 2020
Economy
Historians Unearth Draft of Famous Patrick Henry ‘Give Me Retail Shopping and Give Me Death’ Speech
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Researchers at the National Academy of History and Past Events announced...
April 20, 2020
Economy
Donald Trump Jr: “Americans Need to Go Back to Pretending to Work Like Me”
"My daddy always said if I can do something, literally any fucking moron in the world can do it, too."
April 20, 2020
MAGA News
Trump Says Americans Without Toilet Paper Can Wipe With the Constitution Like He Does
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As his administration grapples with how to best coax states into...
April 17, 2020
Economy
Treasury Orders Trump’s Mushroom Stamp on Coronavirus Stimulus Checks
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. Treasury Department issued an order late last night that...
April 15, 2020
MAGA News
Trump Demands Obama’s Long Form Biden Endorsement
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, former President Barack Obama endorsed the presidential campaign of his...
April 15, 2020
MAGA News
McConnell Says Trump’s Dick Tastes Like ‘Total Authority’ to Him
COAL BONER, KENTUCKY -- President Donald Trump suggested during a recent coronavirus task force...
April 14, 2020
MAGA News
Trump Assures Governors He Stands Ready to Take Credit for Their Hard Work Battling Coronavirus
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On a call with the nation's fifty governors, President Trump assured...
April 14, 2020
MAGA News
Trump Wonders If Doctors, Nurses Could’ve Saved As Many Lives Without His Own Dick In His Mouth
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If there's one thing Americans have learned about their dear president,...
April 14, 2020
Economy
President Trump Worried Extended Coronavirus Lockdowns Might Cause Burrito Covering Shortages
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's no big secret on the Hill that the president enjoys...
April 13, 2020
MAGA News
Trump: “What’s The Point of Lying If Jerks In The Press Are Going To Tell Everyone I Lied?”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An angry President Trump lashed out at the media again this...
April 13, 2020
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Latest articles
Criminal Justice
Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?
"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
May 17, 2024
U.S. Politics
A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden
"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
May 15, 2024
Criminal Justice
I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels
"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
May 10, 2024
Criminal Justice
Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?
"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
May 8, 2024
