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David Avocado Wolfe

I Asked a Klansman If He’s Voting For Biden Since They’re Both Democrats. He Punched Me.

"Man, it's really true what they say about Democrats. They're snowflakes." We all know a...

For Conservatives, Fart Naps Are Quickly Replacing Power Naps

"While some might casually observe the irony in someone who belittles his opponent as...
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Trump Appoints David Avocado Wolfe FDA High Wizard Chieftain of Raw Foods and Woo

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though his cabinet has been fully confirmed, President Donald Trump isn't...

Trump Names David Avocado Wolfe Wind Cancer Czar

WASHINGTON. D.C. -- President Donald Trump recently attacked wind-based energy production in part because...

David Avocado Wolfe Clinging to Life After Accidental Crystal Chakra Overdose

AURA CITY, WOOSCONSIN -- Local authorities and doctors are confirming at this time that...

David “Avocado” Wolfe Named FDA High Wizard Chieftain Of Raw Foods And Woo

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump announced that he has created and filled a...

David Avocado Wolfe In Critical Condition After Apparent Accidental Crystal Chakra Voodoo Overdose

AURA CITY, WOOSCONSIN -- Local authorities and doctors are confirming at this time that...

Trump Appoints David “Avocado” Wolfe FDA High Wizard Chieftain of Raw Foods and Woo

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump announced that he has directed the Food...

Trump Appoints David “Avocado” Wolfe FDA High Wizard Chieftain of Raw Foods and Woo

President Donald Trump has tapped nutritionist David Avocado Wolfe for a new and important role at the Food and Drug Administration.

Latest articles

I Asked a Klansman If He’s Voting For Biden Since They’re Both Democrats. He Punched Me.

"Man, it's really true what they say about Democrats. They're snowflakes." We all know a...

For Conservatives, Fart Naps Are Quickly Replacing Power Naps

"While some might casually observe the irony in someone who belittles his opponent as...

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...