WASHINGTON. D.C. — As congressional members from all sides continue to react to the shock announcement that Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, nominated by Ronald Reagan, is to resign effective at the end of next month, sources from inside the White House claim that President Trump already has a replacement in mind and is ready to make an official announcement.
Speaking on the condition of anonymity, one White House staffer told reporters this morning that the president considers former Republican Senate candidate and current pedophile who famously lost to Democrat Doug Jones in last December’s Alabama special election, to be the perfect candidate for the job.
“President Trump considers Roy Moore’s skills ideal for the job as he believes it is important that the Supreme Court has a true conservative and complete psychopath on the bench as the country moves into the golden age of the Fourth Reich,” explained the source.
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Judge Moore, currently of no fixed address after burning his house down in an attempt to blame supporters of his former rival, when asked for his opinion on this news earlier today outside a mall in Birmingham, Alabama, told reporters that he’d “love the job” but would only be committed to filling the position for a maximum of fourteen years, claiming that after this time, he would be “too old”.
“I just hope the Supreme Court isn’t located within 200m of a school because then I’ve got problems.” Mr. Moore added. “Now who wants to see my tiny gun?”
Giving their opinion when asked whether they felt Roy Moore was up to the job of being a Supreme Court justice, former Moore campaign staffer, Sassy the Horse told reporters; “Neigh.”
The news that the President is already prepared to make a nomination will come as a blow to the Democratic caucus in both houses who are still struggling to attempt to rally together in order to actually do anything meaningful to stop a treasonous racist from permanently ruining the entire country.
Meanwhile soon retiring Senator Jeff Flake (R-AZ) is yet to make his mind up on how long on this occasion he will be acting as though he has a spine for.
