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Mexico Updates Trump On How Much They’ve Paid For His Wall So Far
MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- The government of Mexico reportedly sent the White House an updated Excel spreadsheet this morning, detailing exactly how much they've...
Trump Promises His Middle East War Will ‘Go Just as Good’ as Bush’s
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump's decision to kill a top Iranian military general via drone strike has many on the Hill, and throughout...
Donald Trump Jr. Anxiously Awaiting Results of Genetic Bone Spur Tests
DUMLANDIA, NEW YORK -- The president's third smartest male crotch fruit, Donald Trump Jr., is reportedly on pins and needles, awaiting the results of...
Eric Trump Pretty Sure He Got a Puppy From Iraq for Christmas From Daddy
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- President Donald Trump's most intelligent son named Eric was spotted at a Manhattan pet store, shopping for a bevy...
Trump Offers to Send Rakes and Paper Towels to Australia In Exchange for Its...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump sent the Prime Minister of Australia an offer that sources say he's quite sure they won't be able...
Sen. Lindsey Graham Told Judiciary Committee Exact Length He’ll Go To Defending President Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Senate Judiciary Committee held a hearing today to discuss the findings of FBI Inspector General Michael Horowitz' expansive report on...
Trump: “Oh Darn! I Was Just About to Testify Under Oath and Release All...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump paced on the White House lawn and driveway this morning, awaiting a helicopter ride to a donut shop...
“Why Nepotism Is Wrong Unless You Also Want to Bang That Child” by President...
The following is an open letter to the American people written by President Donald J. Trump and released by the White House today. Mr....
Ted Cruz Vigorously Defends Donald Trump on “Meet The Press” for No Reason in...
DOUCHEBAG RANCH, TEXAS -- Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), forcefully defended President Donald Trump on NBC's "Meet the Press" this morning. Cruz assailed House Democrats'...
Hillary Clinton Offers To Represent President Trump In His Impeachment Trial
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Former Secretary of State, and winner of the 2016 presidential election if presidential elections were run like literally every...
