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Trump Whistleblower Hires Rand Paul’s Neighbor as Bodyguard
Today, Senator Rand Paul (R-Putin's Payroll) had a question for the House impeachment managers thrown out by Chief Justice John Roberts. The question was...
Ted Cruz: “If I Wasn’t a Smarmy, Partisan Cunt Maybe I’d Care About Trump...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a wild and unforeseen development, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Trump's Urethra) called himself a profanity in reference to his seeming indifference...
Sessions Blasts Bolton: “Some Of Us Were Too Busy Sucking Trump Off To Write...
SISTERFUHKER, ALABAMA -- Former Attorney General Jeff Sessions is not a fan of John Bolton's upcoming memoir of his time in the Trump administration....
Eric Trump Says It’s ‘Shameful’ That Joe Biden Got His Son Barista Job at...
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The president's smartest son with the name "Eric" appeared on Fox News last night and proceeded to trash former...
During Impeachment Q&A Cruz Asks: “Isn’t Trump As Innocent As My Wife Is Ugly?”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The question of whether or not to call additional witnesses during the Senate's impeachment trial of President Donald John Trump won't...
Trump Orders Space Force to Investigate Allegations of Biden’s Neptune-ism
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though it's officially a branch of the U.S. Armed Forces, President Donald Trump's first assignment for his Space Force is one...
Pam Bondi’s Mouth Leaks $25,000 In Trump’s Cash During Impeachment Defense
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Cash totalling $25,000 fell out of former Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi's mouth as she made her case for impeaching Hunter...
Ken Starr Asked Monica Lewinsky For Presidential Blowjob Advice Before His Impeachment Defense of...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, during the White House legal counsel's second day of opening arguments in the impeachment trial of President Donald John Trump,...
Trump Unable to Identify His Kids on Unlabeled Family Photo
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald John Trump was given an unlabeled photograph of his family by Secretary of State Mike Pompeo. Mr....
Graham: “If the Media Were Nicer to Trump, He Wouldn’t Have Tried to Extort...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With Republicans holding onto a small majority in the Senate, and the Constitution's bar for removal from office being set at...
