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Trump Says President of Puerto Rico Was Wrong to Call Coronavirus a ‘Hoax’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, a somber President Donald Trump implored the American people to take a fifteen day timeout from their normal routine, and...
Trump Campaign Suspends Future Klan Rallies Out of Coronavirus Concerns
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump's re-election campaign has announced it is suspending all of its future klan rallies out of an abundance of...
Trump Asks Ukraine to Investigate Coronavirus for Corruption
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has called the President of Ukraine over the weekend and demanded that someone he sees as a direct...
Trump Warns His Enemies Not To Interfere In 2020 Election By Voting For The...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though there are still several months left before the primary season comes to a close, President Donald Trump is already in...
Trump Tests Negative for Coronavirus, But Positive for Dumbfuck Flu
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though he delayed being tested for over a week after being exposed at this week's CPAC conference, President Donald Trump announced...
2020 Polls: Coronavirus Beating Trump in Head-to-Head Matchup
In news that might upset the commander in chief, newly released polling suggests a majority of Americans would prefer to vote for the novel...
Poll: 70% of Americans Believe Trump Should Self-Quarantine in Hole Six Feet Underground
The results of a new poll, released just today, indicate that seven out of ten Americans believe that President Donald Trump should self-quarantine during...
Trump Accuses ‘Mr. Dow Jones’ of Being a Never Trumper
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump lashed out angrily at "Mr. Dow Jones" in a heated tirade on the White House lawn this morning....
Trump Asks Joint Chiefs If U.S. Can ‘Nuke Coronavirus Like a Hurricane’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Projecting an air of confidence and competence has been a mainstay of President Donald Trump's tenure. Mr. Trump has often boasted...
Trump Boys All Set To Go Bear Hunting on Trip to New York Stock...
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- "We're goin' on a bear hunt, Daddy," Eric Trump shouted into the phone in his hand, the excitement exploding...