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Florida Swamp and New York Dump Finalists for Trump Presidential Library
Presidential libraries are often planned and built once the nation's chief executive leaves office. While President Donald J. Trump may not have been expecting...
Trump Assures Ivanka She’ll Always Be His First Lady and Bottom Bitch
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- None of the legal proceedings initiated by the Trump campaign have resulted in any reported results or projections being changed or...
Trump Claims Pfizer and Moderna ‘Had Never Even Heard of Vaccines’ Until He Told...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Since the end of 2019, the entire planet has been trying to work around and fight against the novel coronavirus, or...
Eric Trump: “You Can Tell The Election Was Rigged Because Daddy Didn’t Win!”
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Eric Trump, the third-most intelligent male crotch fruit of President Donald J. Trump, is convinced that the election was...
Biden Supports Recounts So ‘Americans Can Watch Trump Lose As Many Times As He...
WINURZ, DELAWARE -- This morning, President-Elect Joe Biden was spotted taking a stroll with his German Shepherd, Major, at a coffee shop just a...
Tucker Carlson Asks When Joe Biden Will Take Responsibility for The People Trump Let...
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Fox News host Tucker Carlson spent time during his show's broadcast last night to lament the fact that it...
Biden Legally Changes Middle Name to “Fuck Trump”
HAWKEYE, DELAWARE -- Today, President-elect Joe Biden did what his transition team is calling "some light housekeeping paperwork" ahead of his inauguration on January...
McConnell: “Maybe I’m a Wrinkly Fuckstick Traitor. But That Doesn’t Mean Trump Shouldn’t Contest...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a moment of unforeseen and rare candor, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell admitted that he is a "wrinkly fuckstick traitor,"...
Trump: “If You Only Count the Votes from Red States, I Won Easily”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It appears that President Donald Trump is still not quite ready to accept the reality that he will be a one-term...
Trump Tries to Kick WA, OR, CA, NV, AZ, CO, NM, GA, VA, PA,...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has issued an emergency McProclamation from the Oval office this morning, demanding that twenty-four states and the District...
