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NRA Spokesterrorist Suggests Schools Relocate To Colt, Bushmaster Factories
FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- Dana Loesch, the NRA's official spokesterrorist, recently told a group of gun enthusiasts that she thinks the Parkland, Florida school shooting...
Betsy DeVos Not Sure How To Arm Teachers That Already Have Two
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On Valentine's Day this year, a gunman attacked Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida.
Armed with a semi-automatic rifle, he...
Trump Lists Three Branches Of Government: “National, Rifle, Association”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Inside the Oval Office today, President Donald Trump's staff was busy preparing him for the 2020 election.
Although votes will not be...
Donald Trump Accidentally Finds Obama’s Confiscated Guns Stuffed Into White House Closet
President Trump accidentally found a cache of weapons taken from good, clean, ammo hoarding American patriots by Barack Obama.
NRA to Host Fourth of July Celebration at Fort Sumter
While the NRA's latest ad has eyebrows going up all over the country, they're planning a Fourth of July celebration at Fort Sumter.
Indiana Burger Joint Hangs ‘F**ck F*ggots’ Sign In Window, Gets $2 Billion in Crowdfunding
Indiana's new law has given rise to a whole new cottage industry, conservative crowd funding for bigots.
Trump Says He’ll Enact Russian Sanctions As Soon As The Kremlin Gives Him Permission
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In July of 2017 the United States Congress sent economic sanctions against Russia for their role in undermining the 2016 presidential...
Woman Executes Flawless Polite Stare While Boyfriend Expresses Horrible Opinion About Abortion For Millionth...
CRAFTON HILLS, COLORADO -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that a local restaurant was just the setting for a truly spectacular, and...
Gun Rights Activist: President Trump’s The ‘Right Shade Of Gun Grabber’
COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- For the entire eight years of the presidency of Barack Hussein Obama (D-Kenya), Jethro Bohiggins was on an "eternal...
President Trump Rushes Headlong Into White House Screening Of “Die Hard” And Runs Out...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Donald Trump was witnessed by several people in his administration bravely charging into a screening room that was showing...
