National Nativism and Ammo, a new startup Bible and Constitution printing company that also wholesales ammunition, whose mission statement says they’re owned and operated by a board of “God first, conservative second, Christian American patriots,” issued a press release today, offering a “yuge” reward for trading in old gender, race, and sexual identity cards.
The release is reprinted below, in its entirety.
Hurry hurry hurry, a life changing opportunity is just around the corner!
Its time to turn in your card for a YUGE reward. What card you ask… Well the race card of course!
Gender and sexual orientation cards welcome as well. Those cards the Hollywood liberals are always trotting out are finally worth something. Instead of using your card as some sort of chip when whining about the “systematic oppression” you face, maybe do something useful with it and make those liberal snowflakes cry.
The conservative movement needs you, now more than ever, to use those cards! Although we have spent decades decrying the use of the race card, its time we move into the new era where the lame stream media forces diversity down our throats.
So lets use those cards people!!! Most red blooded Americans understand the danger of identity politics, unless your political identity is “white, working class, male.”
Are you African American and believe the police were justified in shooting Tamir Rice? A woman who doesn’t need feminism? Maybe a Mexican sick of all those illegals making you all look bad? Well there is money to be made by speaking your truth and combating the FAKE NEWS tearing our country apart. So if you are a gay man who doesn’t care if a baker is willing to bake you a cake, then do we have an offer for you.
National Nativism and Ammo is a publicly traded company on the Confederate Stock Exchange.
More satire:
http://alternativelyfacts.com/chick-fil-starbucks-cups/
