“…What kind of person with critical thinking skills would care to see evidence after extraordinary claims are made?”
The following editorial was written by PGC contributor and right-wing singer/songwriter Jethro Bohiggins. The views and opinions expressed herein are those of Mr. Bohiggins, and not necessarily those of this outlet, its management, or ownership.
Well, Libs, I guess I can understand why you all were so panicked about King God President Donald John Trump’s triumphant return to the throne. He’s doing so much winning already, and his friend and co-President Elon Musk’s DOGE team is finding so much waste, fraud and abuse! I’d bet my Medicaid, disability, and food stamps that you all are in full-blown freak-out mode right now, and you should be.
I’m pretty sure I just read a piece on either Breitbart, Fox News, or maybe the Klan’s website, about how DOGE has already found $17.6 trillion dollars in waste, fraud and abuse to cut. That is a staggering number, and it should make us all mad as hell! And from what I gather, everyone is mad, exceptin’ it seems that libtarded Americans — who really aren’t technically Americans anyway — are mad at the guy who found the waste, instead of being mad at the people doing all the wasting and frauding and abusing!
Every time I send some of my more progressive friends news articles about what DOGE is finding, they smugly laugh and ask me “Where’s the proof?” As if Elon would lie! When have we ever known a rich, white man in control of a country’s resources to lie for his own benefit? Seems like a load of liberal hogwash to me.
When has Elon himself ever lied? Is his hyperloop not built? Are Tesla’s not auto-driving with perfect, crash-free records? Isn’t his Neural-Link product already in like millions of people’s heads? Honestly, to call Elon Musk a liar is like calling Ronald Reagan a liar, and What in the Iran Contra Affair would make you wanna do that?!
Here’s what I’ve been telling those smug lib friends of mine: Fuck you!
I don’t need to see no evidence. This is like the Iraqi WMD program, Trickle Down Economics, or Josh Hawley’s claims he’s made his wife cum. I trust them and take them at their word! Why would I assume that just because they’ve lied a bunch of times before, that they’re lying now because they seem to be telling me exactly what I want to hear, labeling things that I don’t like as “fraud” instead of being honest about what that money goes to?! Make it make sense, LIBS!
The bottom line here, is that I am a bigoted, racist moron. I believe that brown people and LG-BLT-A people are taking our jobs, freedoms, and security, and it starts with them getting untold gazillions in federal funding, and not in a good way like with rocket ship contracts and stuff. And it is my right to be a bigoted, racist, idiotic fool, which none of you can take away from me. I will continue to believe the bullshit I’m told, and you CANNOT STOP ME!
So keep the news stories coming, DOGE! I am sure that one day we will see all the evidence of what you’re claiming to find, but in all honestly — I don’t care if you do. As long as what you cut is stuff that I don’t like because I’m a racist, ignorant idiot, that’s all that matters.
CHECKMATE, LIBS!
