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Literal Anus Sues Donald Trump for Copyright Infringement
An actual anal sphincter is planning to sue Donald Trump for biting his style.
President Trump Narrowly Averts the Crisis of Telling Mexico He Was Putting a Gun...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At this hour, the Secret Service is reporting that a tense situation involving a firearm and the President of the United...
Trump Gets Terrible Case of Freedom Gas and Blames Farts On Sarah Huckabee Sanders
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump ate "way, way, way too many chilli dogs" this morning while tweeting during his executive time, and as...
President’s Plane Rechristened “Air Force Individual-1”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump's aircraft has been officially rechristened.
"Because we want everyone to understand who's always flying in this plane, we thought...
President Trump Threatens to Sue ‘Any American’ That Doesn’t Vote to Re-Elect Him
Not going to vote for Donald Trump? Consider yourself sued.
Donald Trump Jr. To Undergo Plastic Surgery For Rare Facial Condition
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The president's son will be undergoing a radical, experimental new plastic surgery procedure, and the hope is that when...
Trump Appoints David Avocado Wolfe FDA High Wizard Chieftain of Raw Foods and Woo
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though his cabinet has been fully confirmed, President Donald Trump isn't quite done filling important jobs at the federal level.
This morning...
Trump Supporter Suing El Pollo Loco To Change Name to “Crazy Chicken”
"We talk English here in America."
President Trump Declares National Emergency When He Runs Out of Chicken Nugget Dipping Sauce
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House are confirming that this morning, at approximately 7:45 am a state of national emergency was declared...
McConnell Confident Trump Can Fit It All In There
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At a hastily convened press conference this afternoon, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell forcefully insisted that the entirety of whatever it...
