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300 lb. Toddler Throws 90-Minute Tantrum

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CLEVELAND, OHIO -- A massive, 300-pound orange toddler stood on a stage with former Vice President Joe Biden last night and threw what scholars...

Trump Issues The Constipation Proclamation

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 1862, as the country fought in pitched battle during the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln, the first Republican president, signed...

Eric Trump Urges His Dad to Shut the Obamagate, Obamadoor, and Obamawindows

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the past couple of days, Americans have begun to hear one phrase over and over from not only their commander...

Roger Stone Wants Conjugal Visits With Trump’s Ass

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WASHINGTON, D.C -- Last month, Federal District Judge Amy Berman Jackson sentenced Roger Stone, a longtime political associate of President Donald Trump, to just...

Obama Sends Trump “Happy Impeached Presidents Day” Card

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 1971, the Uniform Monday Holidays Act was passed by Congress and signed into law by former President Richard M. Nixon....

Ken Starr and Newt Gingrich Issue Scathing Rebuke of ‘Brazen, Blowie-Free’ Impeachment of Donald...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Donald J. Trump became the third American man ever impeached by the House of Representatives. Two articles of impeachment --...

Trump: “Oh Darn! I Was Just About to Testify Under Oath and Release All...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump paced on the White House lawn and driveway this morning, awaiting a helicopter ride to a donut shop...

Trump: “As Soon As I Heard I Was Caught by the Whistleblower, I Wanted...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump stepped out onto the White House lawn after finishing a rambling, barely coherent call-in appearance on Fox &...

Hillary Clinton Leaves Voicemail for Roger Stone Apologizing That Her Emails Got Him Locked...

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NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton left a voicemail over the weekend for Roger Stone, apologizing for her emails...

Mike Pence Pretty Sure He Could Kill His Boss And Then Pardon Himself For...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Speaking before a prayer breakfast gathering in the nation's capital this week, Vice President Mike Pence seemed to imply that he...