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Trump: “David Koch Would Have Never Died If He’d Donated to My Campaign”

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Speaking to reporters from the lawn of the White House, Marine One's propeller blades spinning loudly in the background, President Donald...

Trump Issues Executive Order for Bible Publishers to Delete Commandment Forbidding False Idols

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, during an impromptu press conference and rant session, President Donald Trump referred to himself as "the Chosen One." Trump...

Denmark Says Greenland Will Be For Sale When Donald Trump Jr. Can Spell It

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Citing the fact that it was a day that ended in "Y," President Donald Trump got into yet another dust up...

Scientists Can Finally Prove Which Trump Can Outsmart a Bag of Hammers

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After years of speculation and wonder, scientists at a leading research lab have published a study that they say supports a formula the team...

New York Offers to Rename Public Toilet After Trump

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NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Perhaps in an attempt to quell a growing controversy and make amends with the most powerful small handed man...

President Runs Out of Dipping Sauce and Declares ‘National McNugget McMergency’

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House are confirming that this morning, at approximately 7:45 am a state of national emergency was declared...

Trump Asks if Israel Would Like a Visit from Some “Very Fine People” from...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump reached out to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to offer his support for banning Democratic Congresswomen Rep. Ilhan...

Rep. Steve King: “If Not For Incest, Would Donald Trump Have Won The Presidency?”

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Speaking to a congregation at a prayer breakfast in the nation's capital this morning, Republican Congressman Steve King seemed to imply...

Evangelical Libertarian: “Jesus Died on the Cross to End Progressive Taxation”

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HOLY OAK, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Bill Millen makes no bones about it. He loves "God, guns, America, Jesus, and President Trump's trace rectal elements." "If...

Kentucky Republicans Want Law Banning Abortion After Sexual Attraction

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Kentucky Republicans join their Ohio counterparts in pushing tougher abortion restrictions.