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"Harvey Weinstein probably doesn't wanna end up on Killary's totally real, totally confirmed kill list."

"I prolly think about butt sex more than people who are currently engaging in butt sex."

Those who attend the Values Voter Summit can expect to be given the religious conservative viewpoint on a whole host of topics from abortion, to abortion, to also abortion, and oh, probably they'll mention something about dead babies after they mention abortion.

"Their thin candy shells will be no match for our nook-you-ler missiles."

Living under the same roof as her husband for the first time in five months is hard enough. Now Melania realizes she needs her own bed still.

Eric Trump and his dad helped funnel cash donated to help kids with cancer to themselves, but Eric's lecturing Democrats about morality.

When Sean Spicer is unavailable, Trump has used Sarah Huckabee Sanders. But now, word is he'll tap someone completely different...and dead.

Hillary Clinton told a conference of women recently that Trump firing James Comey as FBI Director proves men might be too emotional to be president.

No man should get turgidity in his pants unless God says it's okay first. At least according to Vice-President/High Priest Mike Pence.

During the pre-game show before Super Bowl LI, a tribute to the fallen heroes of the Bowling Green Massacre will air.