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Mike Pence Keeps Writing “1819” On All His Checks And Policy Proposals
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- High Priest Reverend Pastor Vice President Mike Pence is like any other person in the world, despite being the third most...
Donald Trump Lists ‘F_ _king Your Mom’ as Only New Year’s Resolution
Donald Trump has a very short, not so sweet list of New Year's resolutions.
Study Confirms 100% of Abortions Still None of Your Fucking Business
Several red states are in various stages of implementing sweeping abortion bans aimed squarely at eventually toppling the 1973 landmark Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision...
Trump Orders Additional “K” Added To Hanukkah to “Make Jew Christmas Great Again”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, in an Oval Office signing ceremony attended by American Christian luminaries like David Duke and the Westboro Baptist Church, President...
Collins: “Unlike Benghazi, Obama’s Birth Certificate, and The Tan Suit, This Impeachment Is Purely...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Doug Collins (R-Trump's Rectal Cavity) told reporters on the Hill today that in his view House Democrats are impeaching President...
Lindsey Graham Wants to Lindsey Graham to Testify Why Lindsey Graham Was So Anti-Trump...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Lindsey Graham (R-Trump's Sphincter) is unsure that Senator Lindsey Graham should be participating in the impeachment trial of President Donald...
Santa Asks Trump If He Can Bring Gifts to All The Good Little Boys...
NORTH POLE, EARTH -- The San-T-Claus Corporation, a corporate entity responsible for the funding and infrastructure used by Kristopher Kringle -- also known as...
Sen. Lindsey Graham Told Judiciary Committee Exact Length He’ll Go To Defending President Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Senate Judiciary Committee held a hearing today to discuss the findings of FBI Inspector General Michael Horowitz' expansive report on...
Pat Robertson Reminds Christians They’ll Go To Hell for Loving Baby Yoda and Baby...
VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has a stern warning for Christians who also consider themselves fans of the Star Wars franchise not to invest...
Trump: “The IG Report Concludes I Should Be Able To Round-Up and Execute Democrats...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump was spotted this morning pacing around the driveway of the White House. He shouted to reporters that he was...
