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GOP Strategist Backed Sarah Palin and Knows Exactly Who Democrats Should Nominate Against Trump

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LAKE HARTSMELLIN, FLORIDA -- In his sleepy Florida hometown, Republican Strategist Mick Axton fires off dozens of tweets a day, all attacking the current...

‘This country will never elect a socialist!’ – Woman Who Said No Black Man...

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GLEN SPRINGS, CONNECTICUT -- Susan Haroldson is a 64-year-old mother of three and grandmother of seven. She is a lifelong, proud liberal progressive, and according...

Ghost of FDR Worries Fellow Socialist Sanders May Only Be Elected to Two Terms

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The ghost of Franklin D. Roosevelt, former President of the United States held a press conference from The Great Beyond today, during which he...

Trump Pardons Lee Harvey Oswald

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NARANJO CHINGADOR, CALIFORNIA -- President Donald Trump has not been ashamed to use his presidential pardon powers, and it doesn't look like that will...

Anti-Corruption Crusader Pardons Four Corrupt Criminals Because He Cares So Much About Corruption

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The most prominent anti-corruption crusading president in American history issued pardons to eight people today, four of whom were convicted of...

Racist Old Man: “That Other Racist Old Man Isn’t Really That Racist”

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A rich, racist old man on a cable news television show recently made quite a few heads scratch when he defended the record of...

Senate Votes to Lower the Law So It’s Just Beneath Trump

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On a narrow, nearly party line vote, the U.S. Senate voted to officially lower the law of America so that it...

Trump Whistleblower Hires Rand Paul’s Neighbor as Bodyguard

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Today, Senator Rand Paul (R-Putin's Payroll) had a question for the House impeachment managers thrown out by Chief Justice John Roberts. The question was...

During Impeachment Q&A Cruz Asks: “Isn’t Trump As Innocent As My Wife Is Ugly?”

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The question of whether or not to call additional witnesses during the Senate's impeachment trial of President Donald John Trump won't...

Woman Unpopular Enough to Lose Winnable Election to Literal Garbage Says Sanders is Unpopular

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SELF-UNAWARE FOREST, NEW YORK -- Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton won the 2016 national popular vote by over 3 million. However, in three...