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Elon Musk Dedicated To Building Affordable Housing On Mars
SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Billionaire entrepreneur and inventor Elon Musk has big dreams, and perhaps even larger ambitions as to how to achieve...
To Thwart Package Thieves, Next Year Amazon Will Only Offer Shitty Products
There can be very little doubt left at this point that when it comes to selling and shipping goods all over the United States,...
David Avocado Wolfe In Critical Condition After Apparent Accidental Crystal Chakra Voodoo Overdose
AURA CITY, WOOSCONSIN -- Local authorities and doctors are confirming at this time that lifestyle coach, nutrition guru, and the World's Most Enlightened and...
San Diego Man Will Fucking Fight You If You Say Your Town Has Better...
SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA -- 38 year old San Diego native Lance Reginald loves Mexican food. Lance has always loved tacos, he tells us as...
Pharmaceutical Company Develops Screechitol, World’s First Auditory Contraceptive
PharmTek Incorporated, a subsidiary of Galactic Chemical Enterprises, announced a new contraceptive they've been developing over the last two years is ready for a...
Adult Film Star Says President Obama Secretly Helped Her Use Exchange To Sign Up...
THE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- An adult film star has revealed that she and President Donald Trump had a sexual affair that lasted months, even...
Mr. Ed And Seabiscuit Deny President Trump Is A Stable Genius
In a joint press release, Mr. Ed, and Seabiscuit -- both Equine Americans -- seemingly refuted statements made in tweets from President Donald Trump.
In...
Poll: Fewer Americans Able To Tell Difference Between Childish Buffoon With Nukes And Kim...
A new poll released from We Poll You So Hard and YouTube shows that an astounding 85% of Americans cannot tell the difference between...
Report: Aliens Told Pentagon Americans Are Too Stupid To Abduct Anymore After Trump Victory
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For years, some Americans have believed that their government knew more about unidentified flying objects -- UFOs -- than they were...
NRA Calls For ‘Disingenuous, Half-Hearted Attempt to Pluck Low Hanging Gun Control Fruit’ It...
Wayne LaPierre tells the media he and the NRA are on board with the minimal effort to curb mass shootings, but only for a short time.
