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Texas: Shooting Self in Dick Surpasses Covid-19 Deaths for First Time Since 2019
AUSTIN, TEXAS -- Republicans in the Lonestar State are crowing quite loudly this morning over a report on deaths from COVID-19. According to new...
Biden Orders “Capitalism” Removed from U.S. Constitution
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The government must remove any and all references to "capitalism" from the United States Constitution by the end of next week,...
White Cop Being Held Acountable for Killing Black Man Makes Ann Coulter’s Head Literally...
"This is highest level her brain has ever performed at."
Will Biden Make You Get Gay Married Before He Issues You a Vaccine Passport...
Rumors are starting to swirl around the Heartland and Bible Belt that the Joe Biden administration has been in talks with Antifa Inc's CEO...
5 Arguments to Convince Your Republican Uncle to Get the Covid-19 Vaccine
In a new poll conducted by NPR and Marist, 49% of Republican men said they likely would NOT get the covid-19 vaccine.
Biden Wants Antifa, Inc. to Help Add Cancel Culture to School Curriculum
"President Biden understands the most important challenge facing kids today is knowing when, where, why, and how to cancel a plastic toy potato's genitals."
McConnell Blasts Senate Dems for Considering Change to Rules He Never Followed Anyway
"How dare they use power like I would use it?"
Biden Cancels Traditional White House Flat Earth Day Festivities
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Thursday, April 22nd, 2021 will be the first Earth Day that Joe Biden spends as President of the United States, though...
Biden Orders Gas Cost $7 Trillion a Gallon
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden has served America as an elected public official in one form or another for most of his adult...
First Recorded Sounds From Mars Are Martians Thanking Us For Electing Biden
In a truly stunning turn of events, the first audio recordings of the surface of Mars have been transmitted back to Earth by a...
