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House Republicans Place Massive Wheelchair Order To Help Its Caucus Members Who Shoot Themselves...
WASHINGTON DC — In an announcement made at the Republican National Committee headquarters in Washington earlier today, GOP Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel told reporters that...
Kellyanne Conway: Tax Cuts For Rich ‘More Important Than Democrat Crusades Against Biblical Pedophilia’
"The American people need to set their priorities straight."
Comet Pizza Unveils New Roy Moore Signature Pie: 14 Year Old Meat On Old...
Comet Ping Pong -- a pizza restaurant in the Washington, D.C. metro area -- has announced a new, signature pie that will be available...
Mexico Offers To Pay For Pest Control Service To Remove ‘La Cucaracha Naranja Gigante’...
"Your apricot-tinged president's proposal for Mexico to pay for his unnecessary and ineffective border wall has been and will continue to be rejected."
Press Secretary Asks Congress if She Can Be Paid By The Lie
"I just think I'll make way more by volume that way."
Papa John’s Briefly Considered Switching to “Less Diarrhea-tastic” Recipe Before Blaming Uppity Blacks for...
"We realized it was actually uppity black people peacefully protesting that was making our pizza taste like shit."
Tomi Lahren Says American Flag G-String Shows ‘Patriotism and Respect’ When It Goes Up...
"The fact is that when this material rests up against my clenched, angry, racist asshole it literally screams patriotism and respect."
John Kelly Wins White House Costume Contest for “Racist, Old, White History Revisionist Asshole”...
"Other than all those compromises, what compromises were ever reached on slavery?"
George W. Bush Offers to Give Heather Lind’s Buttocks ‘The Iraq War Treatment’ for...
"I want to finish once more something that you've left for me."
Fox News Told Me I Lack The Requisite Sexual Abuse Allegations To Be A...
"You never once asked me what I look like naked."
