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Another Benghazi? Obama Reportedly Wore Tan Suit, Ate Burger With Mustard While Watching Gaza...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Deadly violence that took the lives of over 60 Palestinians attempting to cross an Israeli Gaza border fence in protest of...
Frustrated Sarah Palin Says White House Ignored Offer To Drive Released Prisoners Home From...
TWUNTBERG, ALASKA -- In the very early hours of the morning, President Donald Trump arrived at Andrews Air Force Base to welcome home three...
WalMart To Begin Restricting Sales Of Meth In Their Parking Lots
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BENTONVILLE, ARKANSAS -- Executives at WalMart announced during an investor conference call this week that they will begin heavily regulating...
NRA Spokesterrorist Suggests Schools Relocate To Colt, Bushmaster Factories
FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- Dana Loesch, the NRA's official spokesterrorist, recently told a group of gun enthusiasts that she thinks the Parkland, Florida school shooting...
White House Correspondents’ Association Apologizes For Having Smaller Spines Than Funny Bones
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Even days after she gave it, comedian Michelle Wolf's barn burning keynote roast at this year's White House Correspondents Dinner is...
4 Out of 5 Geologists Agree You Are Probably A Seismic Douche
A recent study of geologists from 42 different countries has revealed something quite remarkable -- most of them think you're probably a douche. In fact,...
Laura Ingraham Says “U Can’t Touch This” and “La Vie En Rose” Are Her...
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Over the last few days, American conservatives have touted their new, surprising ally, rapper Kanye West.
Last week, West turned...
Man Finishes Rant On Crooked Hillary and Moochelle Obama, Pivots To Defending Huckabee, Conway...
HOBART, ARKANSAS -- Wearing his favorite "Fuck Your Feelings" Trump 2016 t-shirt, Clem O'Connell ripped into Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama during the first...
Betsy DeVos Wants Sixth Grade Science Textbooks Replaced With The New Testament
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Department of Education, under direction from Education Secretary Betsy DeVos, will be rolling out several key changes to America's school...
Jim Bridenstine Wants NASA To Install Weed Dispensary On International Space Station
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Yesterday, along party lines, Rep. Jim Bridenstine (R-OK) was confirmed — just barely — by the United States Senate and will...
