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Norwegian Woman Says She’d Never Live In S–thole Countries Without Universal Healthcare
Last year, the world was shocked by the frank, obtuse, and obscene language used by President Donald Trump to express that he would prefer...
Stephen Miller Waits In Front Of Flagpole After School For Jake Tapper
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The Internet was abuzz after White House aide Stephen Miller's combative, hostile interview with CNN'S Jake Tapper this past...
Literal Piece Of Shit Considers Challenging Arpaio For AZ Senate Seate
GRIFFIN BEACH, ARIZONA -- Sheriff Joe Arpaio, the 85 year old controversial law enforcement official who was pardoned last year by President Donald Trump,...
Flustered Mike Pence Keeps Writing “1817” On All His Checks And Social Policy Initiatives
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Vice President Mike Pence is like any other person in the world, despite being the third most powerful man in the...
CDC Reports 65% Fewer “Happy Holidays” Related Heart Attacks This Christmas Weekend
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump declared victory for the forces of Merry Christmas in the decades-long War on Christmas this past weekend.
In a...
Jeff Sessions Reveals Himself As Member Of The Keebler Klux Klan
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The nation's capital is abuzz with rampant rumor and speculation after an explosive new email leaked from somewhere within the Department...
Literally No One Volunteers To Help Ann Coulter Qualify For Childcare Tax Credit
"The kinds of creatures offering to willingly mate with Coulter are who you'd imagine at a Klan rally butt fucking each other's cousins while they watch Mississippi Burning and root for the cover-up."
Ivanka Defends Daddy: “He’s Always Gotten My Consent First”
"I don't want fake news out there about Daddy."
American Farmer Coalition: Sarah Huckabee Sanders Uses So Much Fertilizer It Threatens Crops
The American Farmer Coalition has issued a dire forecast of the nation's crops, literally every one of them.
"If Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders doesn't...
RNC To Recruit New Candidates From States’ Sexual Offender Registries
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Republican National Committee has announced a new strategy in recruiting candidates for various national, state, and local level elections.
"The RNC...
