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Trump Supporter To Take Pipe Bombs, Shoulder-Fired RPG To Vatican For Pope’s Blessing
HOBART, ARKANSAS -- Clem O'Connell bills himself as "the biggest Second Amendment defender west of the Ozarks." From his double-wide trailer, Clem hosts "Gun...
Trump Says He’s Found Obama’s Wakanda Birth Certificate
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In an unforeseen but perhaps truly world changing series of events, President Donald Trump announced this morning that he had made...
Jeff Sessions Not Sure Trump’s Dick Tastes So Good After All
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General Jeff Sessions told a gathering of evangelical Christians in the nation's capital today that he is not stepping down,...
Ivanka Says Media Wouldn’t Ask Other President’s Daughter/Lover/Official White House Aide About His Sexual...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An offended Ivanka Trump recently told an NBC reporter that she thought it was "inappropriate" of him to ask her about...
#TwitterLockout: Trump Supporter Believes Purged Russian Bots Were Taken To Obama FEMA Camps
COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- This week, conservatives and Trump supporters on Twitter began panicking when they started to notice their follower counts drop...
Trump Offers To Grab Mitt Romney’s Binders By The Pussy
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, former Massachusetts governor, failed 2012 Republican presidential candidate, and all-around nice robot Mitt Romney announced his candidacy for outgoing Utah...
Presidents Day Trivia: 45 Facts About 44 Presidents And One Orange Douchebag
Today is Presidents Day. Which means one thing for our readership: trivia!
Who doesn't love trivia? We'll tell you who -- assholes. Total fuckin' assholes...
Trump Has Moment Of Silence For Parkland Victims Before Slicing Tee Shot And Screaming,...
MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- The President of the United States held a private, solemn ceremony today, honoring the victims and survivors of the horrific mass...
Trump Worried He Hasn’t Made The Murder Of School Children About Him Enough
MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- This morning, President Trump was stopped by reporters as he existed the clubhouse, headed for the first tee on the course...
Trump: ‘There Are Good People On Both Sides Of Robert Mueller’s Indictments’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump, while watching Fox News in the Oval Office with his feet up on the Resolute Desk,...
