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Steven Seagal Looking Forward To Piss Whores
MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Former alleged actor and martial artist Steven Seagal will be the next President of the United States of America. Or, at...
Lying Sack Of Shit Working For Obnoxious Asshole Who Spread Racist Rumor For a...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Despite being a combative, curt, condescending, tantrum throwing, filibustering, intellectually and literally dishonest sack of shit, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders...
White House Doctor: Fox News So Far Up Trump’s Rectum They Can Smell What...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- White House medical staff have confirmed at this hour that President Donald Trump is being rushed into emergency colon surgery in...
Putin: “I’m Glad I Didn’t Have To Show Picture ID To Buy The Presidency”
MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Russian and/or American President Vladimir Putin was overheard today speaking to his inner circle about comments made by one of his...
Trump Asks Ivanka If She’s ‘Into Bigfoot or Hopefully Small Hand’ Erotica
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In Virginia, a man named Denver Riggleman is running for Congress, and his opponent has unearthed the fact that he is...
Lt. Commander Jesus Herbert Christ Reports For Duty On First Day on Trump’s Religious...
CAPE CANVERAL, FLORIDA -- Lieutenant Commander Jesus Hubert Christ has officially checked in for his first day of duty in the newly minted joint "Religious...
Staffers Say They Still Smell Vladimir Putin’s Dinner on Trump’s Breath
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House are confirming at the time of publication that the odor of the dinner Russian president Vladimir...
White House Experienced Temporary Loss of White Power During Trump’s Helsinki Backpedal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBwIX4ypQjM
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During yesterday's quickly assembled meeting at the White House, President Trump backpedaled on statements he made at a joint press conference...
Helsinki Summit: Putin Gives Trump Cost of Living Pay Increase, But No Annual Bonus...
HELSINKI, FINLAND -- During the annual performance review held between President Donald Trump and his employer, Mr. Trump was told that he will be...
Trump Will Deliver Gettyscheeseburger Address At Site Of Bloodiest Second Civil War Battle
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump will travel to the site of the bloodiest battle in the Democrats' Second Civil War tomorrow to deliver one...
