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Kellyanne Conway: Manafort Not Arrested, He’s “Alternatively Free for Alternatively Not Colluding With Russia”
"We really don't know who this Mantlefart guy is."
Putin Asks Trump To Have Army Corp of Engineers Install All-Seeing Eye On Top...
"I won't need no friggin' daily intelligence briefings."
Jeff Sessions Starts Smoking Weed to Alleviate Stress of Russia Scandal
"This Russia shit is really getting to me, man."
Trump Preemptively Pardons Himself for Pardoning Himself for Things He Says He Didn’t Do
"We don't put people on trial for attempting to commit a crime, do we?"
Authorities Baffled by Appearance of Giant, Rotting, Racist Pumpkin on White House Steps
"I'd call this one a Jack-OFF-o-lantern."
Trump’s Bone Spurs Flare Up As He Tweets Insult Over Senator Blumenthal’s Vietnam Service
President Trump used Twitter today to attack Senator Richard Blumenthal's Vietnam War record; and immediately his bone spurs acted up.
Trump Wants Assurances His Subpoeana’s Bigger Than Obama’s Subpoeanas
Trump is okay getting issued a subpoena, as long as his subpoena's is bigger than Obama's subpoenas. Don't believe urban legends.
Trump Asks Congress ‘For a Friend’ If People Can Rage Tweet From Federal Prison
A concerned and beleaguered President Trump sends an urgent letter to Congress asking about tweet privileges for federal prisoners.
Trump Pre-Pardons Himself for Pardoning Himself for Things He Said He Didn’t Do
If Trump pardons himself, he may put himself in even deeper legal waters. So he needs to pre-pardon himself for pardoning himself. Get it?
Trump Says Osoff Losing Means He’s No Longer Under Criminal Investigation
President Trump signaled today that he's no longer under investigation for obstruction of justice because Democrats lost an election in Georgia.