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President Claims Quid Pro Quo Covered Under Executive Privilege
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As the firestorm of controversy swells around his call with the Ukrainian president, President Donald J. Trump has pivoted again, this...
Jim Jordan: “We Can’t Impeach Trump Before We Impeach Joe Biden”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Gym Jordan told reporters this morning that he "absolutely does not and will not ever" support the impeachment of President...
Trump Orders Secret Service to Confiscate Greta Thunberg’s Staring Daggers
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- President Donald Trump has ordered the Secret Service to contact young climate activist Greta Thunberg, demanding they confiscate her...
Trump Wishes Greta Thunberg Would Speak at Third Grade Level So He Could Mock...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, 16 year old climate activist Greta Thunberg delivered a powerful and emotional speech at the United Nations. Ms. Thunberg has...
Nancy Pelosi Still Can’t Find Her Constitutional Authority to Hold Trump Accountable
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- She knows she left it somewhere. She had it in her purse, or perhaps a hip pocket; she's not quite sure...
Trump: Putin Likes Watching Him Collude With Other Foreign Leaders
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Toadstool Phallus assured a nervous and worried American electorate this morning that reports of his attempts to collude with the...
President Warns Americans Not To Interfere In Next Election By Voting For The Democrat
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though there are still several months left before the primary season comes to a close, President Donald Trump is already in...
President Assures Skeptics Putin Gave Him Permission to Collude With Ukraine This Time
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As buzz grows on the Hill surrounding reports that President Donald Trump pressured officials in the Ukraine government to help dig...
President Calls California ‘Unconstitutional,’ and Revokes Its Statehood
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Trump administration officially filed paperwork to revoke California's EPA waiver that allows the state to set its own, most often...
Fearing Another Whistleblower, President Bans Tea Kettles From White House
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the President of the United States issued an edict, demanding that all whistles and things that can whistle be...