Klan Member ‘Really Impressed’ With Donald Trump’s Economic Vision for America

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HOBBES, NEVADA — Bill Dickerdillya is a 26-year-old member of the Ku Klux Klan that resides in a small town in the northeastern corner of Nevada. Bill is both open and proud of his membership in the Klan, as well as his support of Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election. Dickerdillya says that there are many things he likes about Trump, but he’s most pleased about the billionaire reality TV star’s “economic vision.”

“I was at home cleaning my sheets and getting a list of black churches together, you know, for something unrelated but totally not illegal,” Dickerdillya told us, “and I’ve got the TV on in the background. I start hearing Trump talking about how we’re gonna build a wall to keep the Mexicans out. This of course got my Klan blood pumping.”

Then Dickerdillya saw a report on Fox News that a black protester had been beaten by Trump supporters at a rally.

“As a full blown racist, that just made my heart sing, hearing about that story,” Billy told our interviewer, “because you just don’t see a lot of open racism anymore. It’s nice. It warms my racist heart to see that.” But, Dickerdillya says, Trump’s Islamaphobia, xenophobia and willingness to engage racists for votes “is nice and all” but he “really impressed” most with Trump’s economic plan.

“Oh sure, I’m a hardcore, white supremacist, that’s true,” Dickerdillya said, “but I also studied economics at Long Beach University before moving out here. So unlike libtarded libtards, I actaully know how the economy is s’posed to work. It works like however the rich guys tell us it works, basically, is what my hardcore right-wing father told me, and so I didn’t pay attention in econ class, knowing some day some rich guy would save us all by being rich and a winner.”

Mr. Dickerdillya said when he read reports that fellow Klan members had gone down to a rally to support Trump after the Nevada caucus, he was “so very proud” of them, and wanted to go join them, but his mother said he had to finish cleaning his room.

“It’s part of our arrangement for me living here, so don’t you print that I’m an ironic moocher mooching off my mom, liberal media guy,” Dickerdillya demanded of us.

Dickerdillya tells us that Trump’s tacit approval of racism is just “icing on the cake” for him.

“That would be an all-white cake with all-white frosting, of course,” Dickerdilly made sure to mention.

When we asked Bill if he has any other candidates in mind that he’d support, he simply shook his head.

“Not a chance,” Dickerdillya said, “because I could throw a rock into the Republican field and find people who will say somewhat racist things and who will server the oligarchy well. But I want someone as my president that will be hardcore racist, and anyone who has bankrupted as many companies as Trump has surely will know the best way to bankrupt us.”

Trump’s victory in the Nevada caucuses position him even better before to take the GOP nomination, though some within the party still believe a contested and ultimately brokered convention will be held. Would Dickerdillya vote for a Republican if Trump drops out?

“Well, I surely hope he would not listen to the intelligentsia and the elitists in our party and he’d run an independent campaign then,” Dickerdillya said, “but then again, it’s not like the Republican candidate who does end up running won’t be forced to pretty much echo everything Trump said in the primary. I’ll get back to you.”

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