I Voted For Jesus Fascism and All I Got Was My Welfare Frozen!

It was one thing when I was confident the next four years would see a return to a time when I could bully a trans kid, in their elementary school classroom, and I’d get a Medal of Honor from Trump personally for it.

The following editorial was written by Jethro Bohiggins. Mr. Bohiggins is a singer/songwriter and appears each week on KPBC News during his “Rantin’ Right With Jethro” segment. The views and opinions expressed herein are those of Mr. Bohiggins, and not necessarily those of this outlet, its management, or ownership.

Just what in the cotton-pickin’, billionaire ball-fluffing hell is going around here, huh? I speci-ficially voted for King God Emperor Donald John Trump to return to his throne for a handful of very speci-ficial reasons, and ain’t one of them that I wanted my own welfares cut! But as I live and mouth-breathe, that’s exactly what my situational status was for a few brief hours this week!

Can someone explain to me how we went from roundin’ up the Mexicans and telling trans people liberty and freedom don’t apply to them to where we ended up in a situation where I had my welfare checks frozen, albeit temporilizationally? I know King Trump already unfroze-ified the funds, but still, I cannot lie, fam, I’m a little unsure about the future my hold.

It was one thing when I was confident we’d see a couple thousand illegal Mexicans, or Mexican-ish people being tossed onto military transport and flown away. It was one thing when I was confident the next four years would see a return to a time when I could bully a trans kid, in their elementary school classroom, and I’d get a Medal of Honor from Trump personally for it. Hell, I even swallowed my suspicional feelings about Elon Musk because I figured he was down for the cause of deporting the Browns and bullying trans kids, and I hear he’s the guy who was most in favor of Trump freezing my welfares!

To be perfectly frank with you, I’m not terribly sure who the actual president is, and who’s the king. Because it seems like maybe it’s Elon calling the shots for Trump, but that flies in the face of all the photoshopped pictures I’ve seen of Donald with super-cut physique, riding a Hummer into literal war with the Forces of Libtardia! No, surely King Trump is the big, strong leader, and not a doddering, senile, enfeebled old racist conman, while Musk calls all the shots!

In the end, I guess it don’t really matter much who is the president and who’s pretending to be president, but I don’t think it’s right to punish the good, clean, melanin-free, chicken-non-seasoning, ammo hoarding, Christian American Patriots who put you in power by taking away their government checks! It just don’t feel right getting treated the way you assumed everyone you don’t like would be treated!

Here’s hoping the powers that be figure it out, because I appreciate the funds being un-frozen, but it feels like maybe it’ll only be a matter of time before they try to cut off my welfares again.


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