Gay Texan: America’s An Island We’re All Trapped on Waiting For Louie Gohmert To Die

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VALLE DE LOS IDIOTAS, TX — When Jason Glenn heard Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) imply that he and his fellow LGBT Americans should be dropped on a desert island and left to die, to say he was infuriated would be an understatement.

“I’m just browsing through the Internet,” Glenn told our reporter, “and I come to this video clip of Mr. Gohmert giving a speech at a Bible college.” Glenn said he had to re-watch the video a couple of times to make sure his ears “weren’t playing tricks” on him. He said that living in modern times, he’s not used to hearing elected officials use such rhetoric, though he said growing up in a small town in Texas, he certainly heard similar things from Rush Limbaugh when his mom and dad would have the right-wing radio host on in long car rides across the Lone Star State.

“How about if we take four heterosexual couples,” Gohmert told an audience at Liberty University in Virginia, “and put them on an island where they have everything they need to live and exist, and we take four couples of just men and put them on an island where they have all they need to survive.”  Gohmert then suggested that society “take four couples of just women and put them on an island, and then let’s come back in 100 years and see which one nature favors,” implying that homosexuals would just die-off the planet naturally.

Glenn said that “people like Gohmert just don’t want to admit that homosexuality is a naturally occurring phenomenon, no matter how much evidence of it they see — like climate change.” He said that Gohmert’s hypothetical is “beyond dumb” because “all those heterosexual people not on the island would still have LGBT children so there’d never be some massive die-off.”

“But what really makes me laugh,” Mr. Glenn said, “is the irony of the fact that we’re an island nation, and the rest of us are all trapped here waiting for Louie Gohmert — and people who think like him to die.” Glenn continued, “And what I mean is everyone who isn’t a scared conservative is waiting for scared conservatives to die off. I mean, look at the demographics. If you were born after 1960 or so, you are far more likely to support simple things like letting people marry whatever other adult they want. These scared conservative evangelicals are just hanging on with a death grip to social mores that are changing right out from under them, so we’re all just waiting for enough of them to lose that death grip, and magically things will get better.”

Glenn said he doesn’t “wish any ill” on Gohmert though. “I’m not that kind of prick,” Glenn said, “to actively participate in fantasizing about someone you disagree with dying. But I will say that there are some people whose deaths are actually good for the cause of humanity in general. And if you are someone who thinks your belief in an unprovable deity gives you the right to oppress other people, you’re a bigot. You’re a bigot the kind of which used to say that God’s will was to keep the black man separate from the white man.”

“You’re also the kind of bigot that the country will be a much, much better place without,” Glenn said as he ended the interview.

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