Colorado Man Sends Trey Gowdy $7 Million Invoice For ‘Two Year Long Hillary Attack Ad’

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QUIXOTE’S PASS, COLORADO — A man in Colorado has sent Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-SC) a $7 million billing invoice “on behalf of every U.S. taxpayer” for the money Gowdy and his House Select Benghazi committee spent.

Over the course of two years, Gowdy led an investigation into the September 11th, 2012 attacks on a U.S. compound in Libya. While many promises were made that evidence would be found that showed extreme negligence, if not willful misconduct, by people in the Obama administration — especially then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton — no actual new evidence was brought to light during the course of the investigation.

The waste of taxpayer money infuriated Michael Sculley, so he sent Gowdy a billing invoice from his Quickbooks account with a note saying, “The next time you want to spend seven million bucks, try paying off people’s medical debt or student loans, you Draco Malfoy-looking motherfucker.”

“I have student debt out my ass, and I’m still working at 22% below market rate for my job duties,” Sculley’s email to Gowdy said, “and you guys have the balls to waste seven million bucks chasing your tails for two years, after you already chased your tails for a couple years with Darrel D-Bag Issa’s investigations? Do you have any idea how many people you could help get food, clothing, or shelter for with that $7 million, Trey?”

When asked by a reporter for his local newspaper what he planned to do with the money if Rep. Gowdy actually paid the invoice, Sculley said he’d write a check to the U.S. Government for the full amount and ask that it be put in the funds that “go to normal government stuff like services for the people who pay those taxes in the first place.”

“If Gowdy needed some money, he could have taken out a GoFundMe or something,” Sculley told the reporter, “and he didn’t have to go and pilfer $7 million for his only little windmill hunting crusade. ”

Should Gowdy refuse to pay the invoice, Sculley said he’ll treat it like other debts get treated for “people who aren’t highly connected politicians,” and he’ll hire a collections agency. Sculley said he hoped that a couple weeks straight of calls at random times of the day from pushy debt collectors making pennies on the dollar for the debt Gowdy incurred to the American people might make him “think twice about circle jerking another seven million out from under we the people.”

“Look, I get it,” Sculley’s email to Gowdy said in one passage, “we all wish we could just conjure up a cool million or seven for every harebrained idea we get. But we all have to work for a living, Mr. Gowdy. And our hard labor paid for your idiotic two year long Hillary attack ad. So please, pretty please, with sugar on top…give us back our fucking money. Thanks!”

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