James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
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Trump Takes Time on Memorial Day to Honor Vets Who Weren’t Captured Before They Were Killed

JAPAN -- While traveling abroad today, President Donald Trump sent a very special message...

Ken Starr Sees a ‘Stunning Lack of Bl*wj*bs’ In Obstruction Case Against Trump

WACO, TEXAS -- Ken Starr became a household name while he was the Republican-picked...

Trump: “I Cannot Be Impeached for Attempted Crimes Like ‘Conspiracy, Obstruction, or Murder'”

SOMEWHERE IN THE AIR, ABOVE THE PACIFIC OCEAN -- As Air Force Individual-1 readied...

Kentucky GOP Wants to Ban Abortion After Sexual Attraction

THEOCRATIC MOUNTAIN, KENTUCKY --Republicans in the Kentucky legislature have announced they will bring a...

Trump Supporter Says Theresa May Had Plenty of Time to Make Breakfast Deal

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and country music sensation Jethro Bohiggins is...

Donald Trump Jr.’s Book on Hold While Doctors Fish the Crayon Out of His Nose

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The Second Smartest Donald Trump in the World, son...

Trump Accuses Pelosi of Sharing Doctored Video That Makes Him Seem Smart

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An outraged and apoplectic President Donald J. Trump lashed out viciously...

Alabama Attorney General ‘Looking Into’ Prosecuting God for Miscarriages

LAKE SACDEDOUCHE, ALABAMA -- Alabama's governor has reportedly ordered her state's Attorney General to...

Alabama GOP Wants to Outlaw Scrambled, Fried, or Omelette Eggs

PORT TONTOCOMO UNACAJA DEROCAS, ALABAMA -- In a sleepy Alabama port town, State Rep....

Missouri Dems Propose Classifying Erections That Precede Abortions as Accessories to Murder

TRAPPEDIN, MISSOURI -- Democrats in the Missouri State legislature have proposed a new law that...

Georgia Woman Turns Herself Into Authorities After Miscarrying

PARADIS CHAUVIN COUNTY, GEORGIA -- Authorities are confirming at the time of publication that...

McConnell: “Trump’s Not Above the Law, It Just Doesn’t Apply to Him”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell told reporters outside the rotunda today...

Latest articles

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....