James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are pretty much the same thing. I mean, if they weren't, wouldn't all the conservatives who were...raising alarms about the lack of free speech on college campuses be freaking out about...

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...
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Trump’s 4th of July Military Parade Officially Sponsored by Summer’s Eve and North Korea

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This year, the Trump administration has requested a large parade on...

Dyslexic Teenager Can’t Stop Laughing When You say “96”

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Fox News Offers Time Slot Before Tucker Carlson to Kim Jong-Un

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Executives at Fox News have reportedly reached out to...

President Defends Ivanka at G20: “Plenty of First Ladies Try to Conduct Diplomacy On Their Daddy’s Behalf!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump defended his daughter Ivanka to reporters on the...

Georgia Democrats Mull Law Moving All Abortion Clinics Into Gun Shops

Democrats in Wisconsin are considering a bill that would move all its state's abortion providers into the gun stores, ammo shops and ranges within the Cheese State.

Donald Trump Jr. Asks His Dad Who He Has to Blow to ‘Get a Killer Office Like Ivanka’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Are tensions mounting between America's Royal Family? Leaks out of the...

Arkansas Republican Wants to Install ‘Gaydar’ in Every Building in His State

is the Arkansas anti-LGBT bill just the first step in their state's anti-LGBT push?

McDonald’s Unveils New “McF#ckIt” Burger For Customers Who Just Don’t Care Anymore

OAK BROOK, ILLINOIS -- Fast food monolith McDonald's told investors today that a brand...

Norwegian Woman Would Never Live In S###hole Countries Without Universal Healthcare

Last year, President Donald Trump made it fairly clear that he would prefer that...

5 Year Old Guatemalan Girl Pretty Adorable In Her Wee Cage Inside Her Sweet Little Concentration Camp

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Marianne Williamson: “Make No Mistake, I’ll Ram These Aura Crystals Right Up Donald Trump’s Puckered A**hole!”

CHAKRA FALLS, IDAHO -- Before her appearance on the debate stage last night, it's...

Local MAGA Supporter Suspicious Why Obama Never Declared His Rape Type

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Jethro Bohiggins is a devout, proud, unabashed Donald Trump...

Latest articles

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...