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James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler
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Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are pretty much the same thing. I mean, if they weren't, wouldn't all the conservatives who were...raising alarms about the lack of free speech on college campuses be freaking out about...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...
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MAGA News

His Royal Majesty, The Grand Imperial President of America-Land, Says He Has ‘Absolute Right’ to Do Anything He Wants

THE KINGDOM OF WASHINGTONSHIRE, MERRY OLD AMERICA-LAND -- His Royal Majesty, The Grand Imperial...
History

New York to Rename Public Toilet After Trump

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Perhaps to quiet a growing controversy, and make amends...
MAGA News

Total Moron Who Screeches About Socialism Asks Authoritarian Communists for Help

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A titanically stupid idiot, who happens to also be President of...
Religion

Evangelical MAGA Supporter Sees No Issue With President Asking Satan For Dirt on Biden

HOLY OAK, VIRGINIA -- Right-wing, Pro-Trump televangelist Bill Millen told listeners and viewers of...
MAGA News

President Says Benedict Arnold’s Meetings With the British Were ‘Perfect’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Whether or not he ends up being impeached, there can be...
MAGA News

President Says People Should Get His Permission Before They Tell the Public About His Multiple Abuses of Power

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It is not a secret on the Hill that President Donald...
Science & Medicine

President Suggested Strapping Border Crossers to Nukes and Dropping Them on Hurricanes

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week it was reported by several outlets that soon-to-be impeached...
MAGA News

Obnoxious Liar Stands Next to President of Finland and Screams Conspiracy Theories at Reporters

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An obnoxious, lying reality-TV conman and trust fund racist spent about...
MAGA News

Big, Dumb, Idiot Spends His Day as Most Powerful Idiot in the World Live-Tweeting His Own Impeachment

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- By noon in the nation's capital today, a big, bloviating, orange...
Lifestyle

Is Your Rascal Scooter Fully Charged In Preparation for a Second Civil War?

The President of the United States was the subject of an impeachment inquiry that...
MAGA News

President Retweets Klan Poll Showing 100% Impeachment Disapproval

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The President of the United States has found himself in a...
MAGA News

Ivanka Admits to Being White House Thistle Blower

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Despite the best efforts of The Failing New York Times, the full and...
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Latest articles

Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)