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James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler
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Lifestyle

God Told Me Oklahoma Kids Will Be ‘Stupid as Fuck’ After the Bible is Taught in Schools

"...do they really think it covers me in glory to have a bunch of ignorant, slack-jawed, hateful bigots call themselves my people?" What will happen to a generation of Oklahoma students after the Bible is forced into their classrooms? If you ask one of that...
U.S. Politics

Someone Accidentally Sent Me a Copy of The Biden/Trump Debate Questions

Don't ask me how it happened, but it would appear that someone at CNN accidentally forwarded me a copy of some of the questions that will be asked of current President Joe Biden and current 34-time convicted felon Donald J. Trump when they square-off...
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MAGA News

Audio Leaks of Richard Spencer Dictating Speech for President Trump

KNOTSY WOODS, VIRGINIA -- Leaked audio has emerged of devout white nationalist Richard Spencer,...
Business

NYC Property Values Have Skyrocketed by 300% Since Trump Announced He Left City

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Last night on Twitter, the President of the United...
Criminal Justice

Trump Orders the Execution of All Thanksgiving Turkeys Pardoned By Obama

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The first thing President Donald Trump did this morning, after he...
MAGA News

Turkey Passes On Presidential Pardon From Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's been a longstanding tradition in America for the sitting president...
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Offers To Represent President Trump In His Impeachment Trial

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Former Secretary of State, and winner of the 2016...
MAGA News

Trump Tells President of California Newsom is an ‘Incompetent Idiot’ and ‘Responsible’ for Fire Situation

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There is no amount of love lost between Donald Trump and...
MAGA News

White House Thanksgiving Seating Chart Places President At Kids’ Table

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though it's not for another couple of weeks, preparations are underway...
MAGA News

Man Who Cheered Benghazi Hurting HIllary Clinton Irate About “Partisan Political Impeachment” of Trump

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- During the entirety of the Benghazi investigation, right-wing podcaster,...
Sports

Trump: UFC Crowd Was Booing Hillary Clinton for Not Showing Up For Them to Boo Her

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last night, President Donald J. Trump attended an Ultimate Fighting Championship...
World News

Mexico Offers to Pay for 100% of Wall on Their Border With Colorado

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- In a development that might be beneficial to President Trump's...
Sports

Kellyanne Conway: Nats Fans Were Alternative Cheering Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senior mendacity adviser to the president, Kellyanne Conway, told reporters tonight...
MAGA News

Investigation: Is the President a Complete Moron?

While the attention of most of the media outlets in America over the next...
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Latest articles

Lifestyle

God Told Me Oklahoma Kids Will Be ‘Stupid as Fuck’ After the Bible is Taught in Schools

"...do they really think it covers me in glory to have a bunch of...
U.S. Politics

Someone Accidentally Sent Me a Copy of The Biden/Trump Debate Questions

Don't ask me how it happened, but it would appear that someone at CNN...
U.S. Politics

Steve Bannon Wants You to Send Him Copies of Obama’s and Hillary’s Books While He’s in Prison

"I aggressively fantasize about both of them in my dreams." After writing about politics for...
U.S. Politics

Ashley’s Diary, Hunter’s Laptop, Obama’s Birth Certificate, and the Bible: All the Facts I Need

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and Trump 2024 surrogate Dustin Pewpsin....

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)